


cootcchy and shoeitchy play royale high at 2am

by redakara



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Attempt at Humor, Crack, Humor, M/M, Royale High (Roblox), kokichi is high, this is ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:01:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24975766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redakara/pseuds/redakara
Summary: cootcchy gets high asf and then he plays royale high because he's a roblox and gacha kid abomination
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 10
Kudos: 30





	cootcchy and shoeitchy play royale high at 2am

**Author's Note:**

> cross-posted to wattpad because yeah I have it or something

ouma needed it, needed it, needed it. now, he needed it. right now, at that very 2am moment instant. yeah. he needed that feeling, that feeling he gets only from royale high on his second favorite game, roblox (his #1 is gacha life because he wants subscribers, sub to cootcchy ouka for clear skin and DICE membership)

so he took out his ipad because he is too poor for a computer and attempted to log into his account called shslsupremegremlin because it was a very very pretty girl and he is also a very very pretty girl

however the password was wrong

“the password is wrong” he said

“gOD fucking shit howdo I play royale high now” 

harukawa enter room casually and said “haha demon suffer” as she continued sleepwalking and polishing her dumb fucking katana.

“shut the fuck up harubukkake-chan youll never get my pain dumb bitch” ouma screamed and she fell into the floor. ouchie ouch ouch

so he kept trying to get his password down until kiibo who was also high barged in and said “cootcchy your password is freshavocadorobophobicphallicobjectonroboticcrotchsaiharachanisfuckingcute”

“oh right thank kiiboy”

“that’s robophobic” and he left the room

“yay time for royale high I will be prom queen”

he clicked join and whoop dee fucking do his friend amami is there too

quickly he applied his rp name (alex/hot/single/half demon half human half angel half fairy/don't touch tail/mean/crush: ?)

“hi avocado, peeis” he said in the chat to which every single person said “im reporting u” or some idiotic variation however he didn’t care LOL

“im gonna be prom queen so vote for me and we can be king and queen” oumad said with angry

he felt amami roll his eyes somewhere in the dumb fucking dormitory and smiled “ok” ammi said in the chat because he doesnt care

he talked to every single girl in the ball like “YAS QUEEN OWO” and they all said “no werid”

and ultimately yes ultimately no better yet super high school levely some bitch named Raven/queen of darkness/most powerful ever/don't touch wings/nice/hot/popular/single/crush: shoeitchymai

wait, shoeitchymai?

he then noticed that amami was gone probably fucking someone because that bitch not a virgin

and in his place his beloved shoeitchymai i mean saihara-chan had won the prom king title along with Raven/queen of darkness/most powerful ever/don't touch wings/nice/hot/popular/single/crush: shoeitchymai

and now the bitchasswhoresluthoedumbasstwerkerstripperprostitute™ was convince they were dating and cockitchy was no happy

“hey shoemai is mine” he said no alex/hot/single/half demon half human half angel half fairy/don't touch tail/mean/crush: ? said as he changed his name to alex/hot/single/half demon half human half angel half fairy/don't touch tail/mean/crush: shoeitchymai

“No, he’s not. As I was the prom queen and he was the prom king, that means that together, we are the couple, not some random person like you.” bitch

“shushu is my boyfriend irl you can’t take him from me” nobody said a word because there’s no voice chat in roblox tucking moron

“yeah no” shoeitchymai said

cootcchy was more emo in that moment than shoeitchy’s entire emo phase (his entire life, gimme that hat bitch)

every other person who were all girls all started fighting over shoeitchy and he sighed and typed in the chat “shut”

they all shut

for one second until someone said “lol no”

chaos ensues I assure you but the author is lazy and doesn’t wanna write it.

basically cootcchy got massacred and nobody noticed shoeitchy left 

then cootcchy left too and reported Raven/queen of darkness/most powerful ever/don't touch wings/nice/hot/popular/single/crush: shoeitchymai for being a quote on quote bitch ass hoe

as he turned off his ipad original because he is still poor and it somehow still works just barely he collapsed into the bed still under the effects of the weed and screamed “FUCK YOU RAVEN/QUEEN OF DARKNESS/MOST POWERFUL EVER/DON’T TOUCH WINGS/NICE/HOT/POPULAR/SINGLE/CRUSH: SHOEITCHYMAI YOU PISSED ON YOUR MOM’S FACE”

his lungs hurt more than literally anything so he cried himself to sleep, little did he know shoeitchy heard it

as well as literally everyone else, the tiny hoe could scream because he is a hoe

when he woke up he was still crying somehow and was 194747392948474 pounds lighter because human bodies are 70% water and he lost 60% of it in tears

everyone heard. there has been 17 noise complaints and monocuma had come in screaming “fbi open up” 5 times because he doesn’t care about the other 12

harubukakke from dragonpara v3 death music entered the room with a “be silent you soft grape I have a knife”

“I have your kids and will use them as a weapon”

“o shit”

cum cummy left with the kids goddamnit it’s a karen

the door was being knocked on very loudly louder than Kokichi when he’s getting fucked wait he never got fucked ignore that line

he continued crying until he heard “VA-VA-VALUSE” and the door fell down do the flop style

shoeitchy walked in and grabbed the crying cockitchy’s feet and dragged him through the door, are they ghosts

they sat down next to each other in the dining hall more like shoeitchy sat and cootcchy ouka kept on crying and falling over

nobody said anything but they were all planning to go to tsumugi’s dorm that night to collectively write Saiouma smut and yes they would have a fight over who tops and yes nothing would happen but who knows what saiouma did that night

spoiler: they played more royale high

**Author's Note:**

> regret


End file.
